When...is the question

So I haven't had a cigarette for about 6 weeks now. Do I feel better physically? Yes. Do I feel better mentally? Nothings changed. Do I miss smoking? Your dam right I do. Yeah yeah I know, for those non-smokers out there I know your probably saying "how can people enjoy such a disgusting habit?". Well I don't expect you to understand and I don't care.. I really enjoyed having a coffee and a smoke, having a drink and socializing with people over a fresh cig, I just enjoyed it. But on the flip side of the coin there are a lot of positives with having quit; 1) I don't feel like a bag of shit when I wake up in the morning, definitley higher energy levels. 2) I can smell and taste things better... forgot what real flavor actually is. 3) Since I've quit I have been working out for almost 2 and a half weeks and I lost about 6 pounds and I'm still going strong. 4) Which is prolly the most significant I'm saving shit loads of cash. Not spending mula on smokes actually does make a big difference.

So why did I quit when I enjoyed it so much? I don't really know the real reason. What I do know is that over the past year I've been to alot of funerals. 3 people on my wife's side past away all at very young ages about late to early 60's, all from non-smoking related diseases. So does it mean that your really any better not smoking, bullshit. There are tons of people I know that have never smoked and die young. Hell today on the way into work I just heard on the radio that Christopher Reeves wife who was 44 never lived in a pollution infested city, never smoked and never surrounded herself with second hand smoke has died of lung cancer. Talk about getting screwed out of life. We all kick the bucket one day.. I do agree though that smoking will definitely catch up with you and if you intend to smoke till you drop there's a sure bet that you'll know what it is that will kill you, its the "when" that you don't know.

Yesterday I just found out that an Uncle of mine that I am very close to has Lung Cancer. Smoking... and he's 64. He's smoked for almost 50 years. I'm heart broken cause I really love that guy, and it hurts me to know that he's going out in a really painful way. They say it has already spread to his other lung and its gonna make is way to his brain.

So... not going to say smoking is good for you but you aint going to see me put anyone who does down. I'm actually a happy guy don't get me wrong.. I'm just a realist and in the end we all croak. Its a crap shoot really when you think about it. When is the question.

So why did I quit? I'm pretty sure its point number 4.